The title of this post pretty much sums up what happened on Saturday night.
Yes, I saw her eating the leaf. And no, after taking out 15 previous leaves, I didn’t try to stop her. “I’m cool. I’m relaxed. She can eat a freakin’ leaf if she wants to” I said.
But when she started screaming at bedtime…well…I should have seen it coming. Barf, everywhere. Barf on the sheets. Barf on her lovey. Barf down my dress and in my bra.
I held her and said, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry” while taking little silent shocked breaths because I had barf running down my newly showered skin.
This is life as a mom: trying not to care about barf down your dress because your kid is in pain, while really simultaneously thinking about how you can most efficiently clean her, the sheets, and yourself in as little time as humanely possible.
One key to a quick turnaround is having a sick husband who finds ways to pitch in. Despite his sensitive stomach, he threw the sheets in the wash and then began Googling “Camphor Trees.” He found out the trees can be toxic for children, so he called Kaiser’s Nurse hotline. He practically has that number memorized by now. They connected us to Poison Control, and after a series of questions it was determined that she wasn’t dying. I’m glad we got our inaugural call out of the way so early, and I sincerely hope we don’t need to ever call again.
We aren’t sure if the leaf poisoned her a little bit, or if it simply got stuck in her little pipes and needed a tummy explosion for dislodge–a common occurrence in babies younger than 12 months. Either way, you can bet I’ll be fishing the leaves out of her mouth from here on out. Oops.
Here’s the moral of the story:
If your kid is younger than 12 months, don’t let him/her eat leaves. And definitely make sure those leaves aren’t toxic.
Bam. Free advice. You knew you were subscribing to this blog for good reason.
p.s. That pic above? Obviously, it’s not me or my baby. I just put it on this post to prove that I’m not the only mom who is oblivious to the dangers of leaves. Thank you, National Geographic.