New parent questions

by Lesley on September 1, 2011 · 7 comments

in Anna

The following are actual questions I’ve asked myself the past six weeks. Some of these questions still don’t have answers. Thoughts?

Was that Jonathan passing gas? My own stomach? Or was it the baby?

Will I ever get used to the amount of vomit coming out of her body? Will I ever get used to the nasty smell?

Do I have poop on my shorts again? Or, is it chocolate?

How many times can she spit-up in her crib before I need to wash the sheets?

How many loads of laundry will I do this week?

Should I just leave her in a diaper all day to avoid doing more laundry?

How does one clean a car seat? An infant bouncer seat?

Could I become a millionaire by inventing a matching plastic clothing cover for adults and babies?

Does she think it’s funny when I have to take another shower, or was that smile just a coincidence?

Do probiotics really work? Baby chiropractic? Giving up dairy? Gas drops? Elevated beds? Or should I just throw in the towel now and embrace the mess?

*Please note- you do not have to be a parent to weigh in. Recent experience suggests that answers to these questions are really anyone’s best guess.*

Additionally- does anyone else appreciate the irony of my iphone sticker which reads “Keep Calm and Carry On” ?

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