Dear Southwest Airlines,
You used to be my favorite airline back in the glory days before gas got expensive, terrorists attacked America, and Jet Blue ripped into the friendly skies, making the turbulent competition a little fiercer. I have to say, while you still manage to hire the funniest and (usually) friendliest flight attendants, you’re not keeping up with some simple ways to keep me happy. No, I’m not talking about direct TV, although that does keep me content on cross country flights. I’m talking about some Grandma’s Cookies like those you served in the mid 90s. What happened to them?
Don’t think I’ve forgotten about Grandma or her cookies. As a hungry pre-teen girl unconcerned about trans fats or calories, I wholly appreciated those free cookies that normally went for .75 cents a pop in the junior high vending machine. I savored them on my first solo flight to Salt Lake City when Scott puked all over the place and I vowed only to fly Southwest from there on out.
Now, instead of Grandma’s, I get two measly packets of peanuts which by the way have been banned on every other airline because of allergy concerns. I did notice, however, on my recent cross country trip, that Southwest will splurge and offer a full can of soda AND a choice of 100 calorie Oreo packs or Ritz Crackers, a wholesome Nabisco treat that is supposed to make up for the lack of a meal. I think, subconsiously, that you just don’t want any of us eating since if we did happen to eat just a little too much we wouldn’t fit in the itsy bitsy seats with no leg room and thus wouldn’t be able to fly altogether which wouldn’t bode well for a failing airline industry.
If you can’t bring back the Mother’s Cookies can I offer at least a few suggestions?
1. Ban small children and families to their own section. This, to me, is a better alternative than my other option of banning children from flying altogether.
2. Offer free water stations in your terminals for people who bring their own bottle. In case you haven’t noticed, every country in America is milking the green trend as much as possible. So hop on! Heck, you could even charge a quarter to fill up, which I’d gladly pay to avoid the $2 plastic bottle of water that I don’t need since I have my Sigg.
3. Magazine swap. I know, I know. Germs, right? But hear me out! If I splurge on a $3.99 tabloid magazine with Britney’s bikini bod on the cover, I at least want to share the joy with someone who appreciates the gossip as much as I do. How about an inflight magazine swap area? Easy. Free. Other airlines are probably already doing it, I don’t know… but come on! Share the love!
So, Southwest, a few quick ideas from a girl who wishes she could fly more places, for less money, with better service…take it or leave it. And oh yeah, thanks for not losing my bag. Even though I think you could improve, I’ll be back again soon.