I am reminded this week that I live in a broken world.

It is not just one story…it is many…all at the same time.

Young girls selling their bodies just blocks away from my house.

People with very sick children.

People I never thought would ever do THAT but they did.

Three people who have left someone they once said they loved.

Things too awful to really speak about.

In the middle of wrestling with all these things, I witnessed another broken relationship in front of my very eyes.

I exited the elevator at Kaiser yesterday following a young handicapped girl. She looked about seven. She was in a motorized wheelchair and followed an older woman who was carrying a newborn towards the receptionist station. When the older woman veered a little to the left, the young girl followed in her chair. The older woman stopped, then snapped, “How many times do I have to tell you to watch where you’re going and not cut people off? Apologize to the lady behind you.”

I am the lady behind her. (Since when am I a lady?! Ugh. I’m 30. Forgot!)

“Sorry,” she says softly. I try to tell her she didn’t cut me off, because she didn’t. Before I can do so, the older woman squawks again, “Look her in the eye when you apologize Shelby!”

Shelby is so handicapped that she appears to have a hard time even craning her neck my direction.

I am quiet. Stunned. I moved to the side of the hallway to give them their space.

“Go ahead of us, please,” says the woman. “Shelby cut you off, so you should go ahead of us.”

I assured both of them I was fine, there was not a need to apologize but I found myself stammering and flustered.

I felt like I should have blasted the mom; but she was a stranger. I felt like I should have been more comforting to Shelby; but she wasn’t my child. I felt a thousand thoughts in a brief few seconds, until I pulled out Anna’s Kaiser card and said, “We’re here for shots.”

And then I walked away, and prayed, and prayed and prayed that the shame Shelby probably feels daily would not damage her the way it probably will.

We live in a broken world.

What would you do if you witnessed something that society maybe wouldn’t classify as  ”verbal abuse” but you believe is damaging? Would you say something? 

I guess it’s become popular in the blog world to have this big celebration each year on the date you began blogging. It’s called a “Blogiversary” and many bloggers give stuff away, or plan interesting posts in the days leading up to their anniversary.

I don’t mean to offend anyone, but I think it’s sorta weird. I mean, I get it…companies celebrate anniversaries, and couples celebrate anniversaries so why shouldn’t a blogger? I guess it’s just not my cup of tea. And if it was, I missed the opportunity because my Five Year Blogiversary was last month and I didn’t even think about it until today.

But, realizing I’ve been blogging for five years now caused me to pause because I feel I owe YOU a big thanks. Whether you’ve been reading since my very first post, or just last month, you’ve given me an audience. My audience may be tiny but it’s still there. You inspire me to stay creative, stay motivated, stay accountable.

You’ve seen me through fun trips, weddings, and big moment’s like Jonathan’s graduation. You’ve read my awkward tales about bike riding and witnessed successes in the kitchen. Speaking of successes, you’ve seen me succeed and fail at gardening, succeed and fail at work, and succeed and fail on the ski mountain. You’ve been with me from our apartment days to our remodel days to our new home days. You’ve watched me process a baby, and then have a baby. You’ve let me tell you all about my special friends, and complain (and brag) about all my training and racing. Basically, you’ve lived life’s ups and downs with me.

I guess a Blogiversary –especially this Blogiversary–is a bigger deal than I thought!

So, thank you. I’m grateful for the time you spend here on my little site.

So everyone is reading this book called One Thousand Gifts.

You know how it goes: you’re having lunch with someone and they mention a book you just have to read and it makes you feel so out-of-the-loop because you’ve never even heard of said book but apparently it’s this cult phenomenon you had no idea existed. Now you see it everywhere: on Amazon, at the library, on blogs, at Borders.

This very thing happened a few weeks ago after Ruth told me about One Thousand Gifts. The very next day Mama Monk mentioned it on her blog. The book, it appears, focuses on finding joy in the everyday by thanking God for all that He has given.

I could sure do a lot more thanking and a lot less complaining which is why I’ve decided I’m going to start a list of all the things I’m thankful for. I’ll be tweeting one thing I’m thankful for each day, using the hashtag #thankful. I plan to do this until Thanksgiving (64 days away)! I’d love it if you joined me in making a list. I’d also love to hear from anyone who has read One Thousand Gifts. Did you like it?

Currently on my #thankful list: hot summer nights, air conditioning, clean sheets, grace from my husband, medical technology, cheap JetBlue tickets, mini burgers.

One would think, based on my lack of blogging, that life has been busy. Don’t tell anyone–(shhhhhh)–it’s actually been wonderfully slow.

The days are long, in the very best sense. The mornings still start early but the windows are now open, the fan blowing, birds chirping, sun creeping in through the curtains. I walk these days instead of run- literally and figuratively. From 8:30am to 5:30pm, there is plenty to do but not at the stress level I’d grown used to over the last three years. The evenings? They aren’t as scheduled. Since early June, I have said ‘NO’ with greater frequency, preferring instead to come home to Jonathan, cook an easy meal, and put my feet up. The weekends have mostly been spent here, at home. The laundry is not piling up. The fridge almost always has food. I’ve read a few books. We take evening walks. Last week, on an unusually rainy Wednesday night, we snuck dessert into Tower Theatre and saw Midnight in Paris.

A lot of people might have watched our last six weeks and called them boring. I have found them to be exactly what my body and mind needed after a cold winter of packing and unpacking and running around like a chicken with my head cut off.

In a few weeks, we will bring home a baby girl. We waver between complete excitement and sheer terror. We mourn the freedom we are losing. We celebrate the new life, the new joys, we are gaining.

Jonathan and I have prayed for this baby for a long time– long before we knew when she’d join us. As the date grows nearer, I grow more and more thankful that God prepares us for each season. He knows when each season will begin and end. He provides just what we need in each time.

No matter what season you’re in right now, I pray that you don’t feel alone in it. I pray you know that each season lasts for a short time. Each season has its hard moments that seem like they will never go away. Each season has its freedoms and joys that you hope never end.

Embrace your season. Be patient for the next season. His timing is good.

I found the above picture through a post on Eugene Cho’s blog (highly recommend you visit- he discusses good stuff.)

The photo is from a series by the Boston Globe. I also highly recommend you view all of the images, which total around 40. They show many sides of war- the good, the awful, the painful, the hopeful. I especially like that the photographs capture both American soldiers and Taliban soldiers, as well as the people of Afghanistan. There are several very painful shots that I chose not to post. This one struck me because I love the book A Thousand Splendid Suns.  Series 1, Series 2.

AP Photo/Credit to David Guttenfelder

Spring flowers, from our yard. No extra rent charge for these beauties. Lovely, right?

I milked a cow for the first time this weekend. It was way easier than one might think. Simply pinch, and roll. And then put a big goofy grin on your face.

Just because I’m a perfectionist and feel the need to explain myself, this blog is currently going through a remodel. As with any remodel, this is a process. I need to feel it out. Get my vision. Think it through. I’m brainstorming new directions, new names, a new look. I can’t do it all at once because I’m indecisive. It’s like getting a new couch, and then deciding on the curtains later. So, don’t get too attached. Don’t judge yet. Just know that fun things are to come! Phew. I feel better.

It’s been in the high 90s all weekend. I thought summer was coming to an end, but it has instead taunted, “Just Kidding!” I’m trying to have a good attitude about the weather, and remember that there is a long winter ahead when I’ll be yearning for sun, but right now all I want to do is have hot cider, bake and apple pie and wake up to rain.

On to other things I don’t understand… so, I was at the mall this afternoon shopping for baby shower gifts and Jonathan’s birthday present. You’d have thought it was the night before Christmas. I circled forever trying to find a spot! At the Apple store there were so many people that I had to fight my way through the crowd to get Jonathan’s arm band for his ipod. (He knows I bought this so I’m not spoiling the secret). People were buying laptops and nanos and phone like it wasn’t a thing! Recession? What recession?!? I don’t get it… when I got home we looked up the arm band on Amazon and found it for half the price I paid. Naturally, we’d already ripped open the package BEFORE looking on Amazon. Brilliant.

Finally, the last thing I don’t understand is Sacramento’s shrubbery service. In SacTown we’ve got a LOT of trees which equals a LOT of branches and leaves during Autumn. Instead of putting the leaves in a big trash barrell, everyone puts their trimmings on the street in piles. Then, once a week, a truck comes to pick up the trimmings. What happens is that for most of the week, we have piles up and down our streets with big bunches of leaves making it impossible to park. It’s the ultimate (and only) real sign of fall so far besides Starbucks Pumpkin drinks, as Anna Q pointed out last week.

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