After a pretty horrible pre-Christmas week,  our vacation redeemed a lot of the feelings of tiredness and brokenness that we were feeling.

Sadly, there is not a photo of the fun fondue dinner party I hosted at my parents’ house. Sarah, Lauren and Katie all came and it was wonderful. I’ve known Sarah and Lauren since we were young and awkward, and I’ve known Katie since our freshman year at Westmont. We ate too much cheese and a lot of cookies. I wish I could do dinner parties with girlfriends every weekend.

I finally felt up to exercising by Christmas Eve day, so I took a spin class at my parent’s new gym. It kicked my butt, and I definitely ate extra sushi that night because I felt like I earned it. Yes, you read that correctly. Sushi. Huge, huge amounts of sushi at Christmas Eve dinner. I was happy to partake after 9 months without the stuff. Here is Anna and I with my grandpas, her great-grandpas:

The girl is plumping up so much that she doesn’t have wrists…it’s all baby fat! I, of course, am obsessed with her chunky thighs and cheeks. I can’t stop kissing them.

And then there was plenty of time with all Anna’s aunties and uncles. We spent Christmas day with both sides of the family–morning with the Sebeks, evening with the Millers. Somehow I missed a photo of her with Aunt Katie, but here is Auntie Allison and Aunt Sarah:

Funny, they kind of all look alike, huh? Sarah is my sister-in-law but the resemblance between all of us is striking, I think.

My mother-in-law always gives us pajamas as a Christmas gift. This year my PJs were leggings. I’d just like to comment that I have never, ever loved pajamas more than the leggings she gave me. Every person should wear leggings to bed. I wish I had 8 pairs. I have basically worn them for a week straight and never want to take them off. Go get some. Really.

Jonathan bought me the Adele album, a nativity set, an Etsy print, and the book Bittersweet. I’ve read Bittersweet before but didn’t have my own copy. I love that book, and it’s been so great to read it again this week next to our dying Christmas tree. I would like to suggest you buy a copy. I especially like the chapters called Alameda and 25.

All the Miller siblings and spouses saw Mission Impossible 4 together in IMAX. This girl NEVER gets popcorn and a soda but we splurged and got a huge tub, a huge Coke, and six candy boxes to split amongst us. The movie was a thrill and I left with a tummy ache. You wouldn’t guess so based on this photo:

The next day all of us drove to La Jolla for the day. It was about 75 degrees and gorgeous out. We strolled the beach, got Smashburger and cupcakes. The salt air was good for all of us. I’d like to comment that Jonathan still has his hair, and I think it looks particularly handsome in this photo. His hair is just starting to fall out which means it’s going to be buzzed here very soon. I will still think he’s incredibly attractive.

And then, before leaving So Cal on Wednesday, we squeezed in a visit with Erin, Mike and Jada who were visiting from Colorado. The last time we saw Erin and Mike was at Lori’s wedding last spring. All four of us shared a hotel room, and Erin and I had little baby bumps. Both of us were blessed with baby girls this year and they finally met. We walked around Balboa Island with our moms, while the guys got Starbucks and also caught up. Jada and Anna clearly had a connection. Next year we will force them to make cookies together just like our moms did to us years ago. Hopefully Lola Swanson and Addison Vogt can join. This was, clearly, the year of girl babies. We received eight baby girl announcements in 2011. Anna has lots of friends already and a few boyfriends too.

Today is New Years but it doesn’t really feel like it. No parade; no college games. We slept in (miracle!), stayed in jammies all day, never brushed our teeth, ate a huge breakfast, napped, and went for a walk (still in our jammies.) And now I’m drinking a little wine and blogging and writing resolutions. I’d say it’s a good start to a new year.

Carry Me, by Audrey Assad

Pain is a forest we all get lost in
Between the branches hope can be so hard to see
And in the darkness we’ve all got questions
We’re all just trying to make sense out of suffering but

You say I am blessed because of this
So, I choose to believe
As I carry this cross, You’ll carry me
Help me believe it

Fear is a current we all get caught in
And in its motion faith can be so hard to find
And we all falter ’cause we’re all broken
We’re all just trying to turn the shadows into light but

You get glory in the midst of this
And You’re walking with me
And you say I am blessed because of this
So, I choose to believe
As I carry this cross, You’ll carry me

And I know Your promises are faithful
And God, I’ve seen Your goodness in my life
And oh, I’ve found Your mercy is a river
Your love is an ocean wide

Pics taken while on our “working vacation” in Cayucos earlier this week. It was a working vacation because Miss Anna was with us…and that means we got some sleep but not enough of it. 

Jonathan had a work training last weekend in the Bay area so I used his hotel room as an excuse to visit my lovely little sis, Allison.

Allison lives in the Mission district which is a super cute/hipster area of San Francisco with unique boutiques and lots of restaurants. I’ve had the chance to visit her a few times since she moved there in January. She lives in an older apartment above a coffee shop, and her room looks out on a busy street. I think it’s super cool- although I’m sure at times it would be hard to sleep. She says covering her head with a pillow or playing white noise on her iPhone helps.

Allison has this super comfy and clean white bedspread which Anna emptied her stomach on as soon as we arrived. Classic. This is a photo of her, hands raised in victory, after accomplishing the task:

After everyone got cleaned up, I strapped the baby on me and we took BART to Union Square where we met up with Allison’s boyfriend, Matt, and my Grandpa Frank, aka Hawk. The Hawk was in town for Fleet Week and to see one of his favorite jazz bands. First up on the list of things to accomplish? Find Hawk a new sailor’s cap. Twenty minutes and $130 later, he found his treasure. Then, we headed up to Allison’s store so I could drop off my jacket. It was a gorgeous day but I was MELTING from carrying Anna.

Allison works for a consigner handbag company that resells expensive designer purses. The store is beautiful. Let me know if you’re interested in purchasing a “new” purse. Maybe she can get you a deal on this $42,000 alligator bag:

We all headed to Chinatown for a lunch of Dim Sum. I love LOVE love Dim Sum. So does Hawk. We ate all sorts of steamed buns and fried shrimpies and egg tarts. He held Anna for the first time, which melted all of our hearts. After lunch we walked to his hotel where he presented her with cowgirl outfits and a baby Christmas stocking. I received salt. We watched the air show from his window and let the baby do her poop. Not sure what was more entertaining- the air show or the multiple diaper changes.

Then, it was time for Anna’s nap. We shoved Allison’s earphones on her head to block out Blue Angel noises. I was tempted to pop into a dance club just to see if they needed a DJ for the night.

We did actually try to hit up a bar to watch Hawk’s jazz band but the baby wasn’t allowed in so the “kids” settled for gelato in North Beach while Hawk chatted it up with a mystery lady who met him at the bar. Yes, my grandpa is a popular guy. Must be the hat.

We finished off the day by having dinner with Jonathan back in the Mission before heading to Berkeley for the night. It was a fun weekend, and Anna was such a happy little city girl that I think we’ll need to go back again soon.

We took our first vacation as a family of three…and survived to tell about it.

The place: Seattle

The characters: one handsome husband, me, and a cuddly baby.

The reason: Zach and Dana’s wedding. Let’s be honest- who would plan to take a 9 week old on vacation unless there was a good reason? Let’s also just note that I don’t have one single picture of the rehearsal dinner or wedding because my baby was crying most of the time. I’ll get to that later.

The highlights:

After flying down to Irvine the weekend before, I felt like an old pro on navigating the complexities of traveling with an infant. It’s an art people. I am still a newbie, as evidenced by the fact that I left my cell phone at home, but here are the basics:

1. Look vulnerable and scared. Flight attendants will take pity on you and offer an extra seat and priority lines through security.

2. Keep the baby strapped on at all times. How else are you supposed to take your shoes off?

3. Do whatever it takes to get the baby to sleep. Nursing on takeoff helps. Nursing on landing helps. Nursing the entire flight might also help.

So, we got to Seattle on Thursday afternoon (sans cell phone) and immediately found the “family restroom” at the airport. I was sorta giddy about using the family restroom. I mean, I didn’t even know family restrooms existed! What fun! I can pee while Jonathan changes the baby!

I have always said I could live in Seattle because the two times I’ve been there it was sunny and beautiful the entire time. People claim it rains a lot. I don’t really believe them.  I was actually very anxious to experience fall weather because it’s been so hot here. I even bought new leggings from J. Crew (and, I will note, they are wonderfully comfy and cute…if I do say so myself.) Anna’s suitcase was filled with little pants, and little sweaters, and little hats. I couldn’t wait to put them on her until arriving to 75 degree temps and sunny skies. I still wore my leggings and Anna still wore her sweatsuit until she pooped all over it.

When we checked into the hotel we met up with Jenny, Chris and Lola. I couldn’t believe how much Lola has changed since Lori’s wedding. She’s still so petite but oh so pretty. Her mom dresses her in cute outfits and lots of headbands (my kind of gal!) While sitting in our huge suite, I soaked in the fun of raising a baby girl at the same time Jenny is also raising one. Then we get a call from the front desk that the huge suite wasn’t actually ours so we moved down the hall to a much smaller room that was just as comfy. We tried not to whine about this.

Note: hotels have baby cribs! This is a good thing because we decided not to bring our Pack ‘n Play due to its weight. Instead we planned on letting Anna sleep in her car seat. We’re superstar parents like that. She was really living the high life in her crib/our king size bed.

On Thursday night we dined at one of Seattle’s nicest restaurants, Canlis. And yes, we were that couple who brought THAT baby. I was feeling so lucky to receive an invite to the rehearsal dinner but as the night progressed I started asking myself this simple question: “What the H-E-Double hockey sticks were we thinking?!?” Apparently, Anna doesn’t like fine wine, crab legs, steak or chocolate lava cake. Weird. Jenny and I left early, determined to put the babies down to sleep and then hang out. Turns out, I also forgot the stupid (and expensive) baby monitor that we’d purchased for times such as these. Jenny and I talked on the phone for an hour in our respective rooms. It was very glamorous.

Miraculously, Anna slept 8 straight hours that night. We celebrated her behavior with breakfast at Citizen, where I had the most delicious savory crepe I’ve ever eaten in my entire life. Then, we plopped her in the Ergo baby carrier and hauled her all over Seattle for the day, visiting Pike Place Market, getting clam chowder at Ivar’s, and taking the ferry to Bainbridge Island with friends. Did I mention it was maybe the most beautiful day in Seattle’s history? Anna loves the Ergo and didn’t make a fuss all day…until…THE WEDDING.

I won’t lie: I left Zach and Dana’s wedding very bitter. Caring for an infant while you’re trying to look all pretty, and dance, and eat pie is nearly impossible. I don’t blame Anna for hating her life that night. It was loud and hot and she’d been carried around all day like a kangaroo. Still, Mama was not happy when I had to leave the reception before I even got to bust a single move on the dance floor with all of our friends. Plus, I missed the pie buffet. I love pie. I had to keep reminding myself that at least I was able to attend the wedding rather than be at home. The happy couple are dear friends of ours and will be moving to Sacramento in June.

On Saturday we headed out to Woodinville, Jonathan’s hometown, because he hadn’t been to visit in 9 years! Lucky for Anna, her Uncle Matt happened to be in town for a different wedding so we got breakfast with him at the Woodinville Care. Anna had a major spit-up in the restaurant that involved liquid running down a wall. I decided not to notify management and cleaned it up myself. Major EW.  We also stopped by Jonathan’s old house, the church, a winery, and Red Hook Brewery. I nursed Anna while Jonathan tasted beers. Yes, we took a baby to a bar. It was awesome.

Later that night we picked up dinner at Dick’s (Jonathan’s favorite!) and took it up to Kerry Park for a picnic. The night was gorgeous, and the baby stayed sleeping, so we walked all over Queen Anne…chatting and soaking up one of the last nights of summer. I could hardly believe that it had been about 9 years since Jonathan took me to Kerry Park during our first summer of dating. My, how 9 years can change a couple…

And still…the weekend wasn’t over!

Sunday took us to Fremont Market, a suggestion from Ashlee. I’m so glad we went. The weather had shifted by that morning and we bundled up to brave the first crisp morning of fall. Besides looking at all the cute vintage wear, flowers and produce; we also stopped for samples at Theo Chocolate. I realize we could have gone to church- but- we got chocolate, people!

Speaking of chocolate, I have this secret wish I could be a famous food blogger. Whenever we travel, I love the idea of discovering new foods that no one has discovered before. Later on Sunday, after we dressed our baby in Seahawk’s gear and Jonathan headed off the the game, I braved Seattle with Anna.

We took the monorail to downtown where I made a bad food court sushi decision. (Seriously- if I want to be a foodie, why did I settle on eating at the food court?!) I tried to redeem my food choice by purchasing a Swedish Dream cookie at Pike Place. When that didn’t settle my desires, I noticed a long line at the Mee Sum Pastry shop. I was very full at that point and yet still got in line for a humbow. It was amazing and I don’t for a minute regret the side ache I suffered from the rest of the afternoon.

The only picture I have from Sunday’s adventure is a self shot taken in the Nordstrom Ladies Lounge where I retreated to feed Anna. I love Nordstrom for making my Sunday stroll possible.

By Sunday night we were exhausted and grateful for home cooked pumpkin chili and apple pie at a friend’s house from college. Phil and his wife Kara were incredibly gracious hosts, sending us home with a loaf of zucchini bread and a reminder that the expensive loans we are still paying off from college are totally worth it for the friends we now have scattered across the United States.

And that, my friends, is my very lengthy account of our Seattle trip. If you’re still reading- well- I’m shocked. Thanks for hanging this long.

Written while on vacation last week in San Diego…

I’m in a tank top and shorts this week. It’s a Thursday afternoon, and instead of pounding away at my desk I’m listening to Jewel and Sheryl Crow at a little coffee shop called Katy’s– “where friends meet and they serve it up hot.”

It’s my third time here this week. I’m steps away from the little condo we are borrowing from Tammy’s family. I can hear the ocean through the back door, still audible over the light chatter from locals who are stationed here catching up about their day. The sun is almost down low enough for a late afternoon walk on the beach. It will, hopefully, not be too tough on my already sunburned skin.

Yesterday I braved a bikini and sat on the sand all day with a book in hand. I borrowed The Help from Kara. It’s been on my reading list for awhile, and it’s just as good as everyone says. I love flipping the pages of a book that’s already been loved a little bit. I love thinking about the characters when I wake up in the morning; as if they are old friends.

Twice we got up and walked down the beach. Once for burgers; once for ice cream in waffle cones.

Each day, we have slept in late. I have time to stretch my back out, and read my bible. These things often get skipped over when I’m at home. We eat homemade granola with strawberries as we watch the ocean waves go in and out. One day, I ate gelato TWICE. Such an indulgence makes me feel like I’m in Italy again.

We had dreamed of time in Europe before having kids, or maybe a visit to the Carolinas. Both, we decided, were not meant to be. This vacation is slow and sometimes boring. We have caught up on rest. We have read. We have talked about all the things we hope go “right” in July…and expressed our fears about the things that might go “wrong.” Tonight we will splurge on a dinner that will cost way too much but offer beautiful views of downtown. I expect Jonathan to order a few good beers. I will settle on a mocktail that won’t be as great as wine, but will have to suffice for now.

I am rested, refreshed. I am ready to return to our home and nest…to start preparing for baby…to choose paint for her walls and find bedding that is perfectly cute but not too cheesy.

We may not get away, alone, for awhile. But it will happen again. (We have eager grandma’s waiting to babysit!) For now I will soak up this time with my love, and be in this fleeting moment until it passes to the next.

In just a few short weeks I’m going to find myself standing on this baby! She’s the USS Makin Island and right now she’s somewhere 90 miles offshore from San Diego. On February 16, seven other bloggers and I will take a helicopter from Coronado to the navy ship. Once there we’ll get a tour, lunch and seminars before flying back to San Diego. All of this is coordinated through the Avere Group, who I was lucky enough to be introduced to last fall. I can’t wait to tell you all about it once I return. Until then I’m doing pushups every morning just in case they make me prove myself on deck. I won’t let you down Dad…I won’t let you down.

I’ve been at this blogging business for over four years now, and if you’ve been with me since the beginning then you might notice a few names and faces who seem to pop up every fall: Lori, Amy, Erin, Katie, Jenny and Anne. These women are my sweet college friends; the women who have been making me laugh and do silly things for the past 10 years. (WHOA- 10 years?! How did that happen?) We have plenty of stories by now, and have gone through lots of phases together. (From sporting overalls our freshman year, to being obsessed with Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson’s reality show during our senior year.) We have successfully lived together, traveled together, and done life together. We even named ourselves, which is a whole other story I’ll save for another post.

During our 2006 trip to visit Jenny in New York, we decided to be very intentional about taking trips each year that allow us to relax and have a lot of time for conversation. So, most of the time when we get together we do a lot of sitting around, eating, and gabbing. We also make sure to have a few awkward moments and silly pictures to document our time.

This fall was the first time we tried a new trip planning technique. After reading a Real Simple article during our 2008 trip, we decided it’d be fun to have one girl plan the entire trip, including the surprise destination. Katie was this year’s organizer, and she did an AMAZING job booking our airfare, sending us fun packages with clues, finding a free condo in Palm Desert to use, making lots of sugary food, and choosing a book for us to all read and discuss. She even got us matching t-shirts, headbands and sandals which we had no shame sporting in public together. Combine the matching attire with three pregnant bellies. What do you get? People asking us if we were a “surrogacy group.” Um, no. Definitely not, but thanks for asking.

One of my favorite parts about the weekend (besides all the sunshine and sleeping, food, pedicures, and conversation) was my arrival at LAX. Getting picked up by friends is always so fun because Katie makes sure it’s super embarrassing. Based on previous experience, I was prepared to wait at the curb and be greeted with incessant honking and screaming. This year, the girls changed it up and “surprised” me at baggage claim. By surprise, I mean that Katie came up behind me, yelled, “Give me your money!” in a deep voice, and then sorta grabbed my butt. I think about 200 people stopped to stare at us while I put on my matching shirt and bounced up and down in excitement.

Girls, thanks for an amazing time together. You know that I’m already counting down to Lori’s big day when I get to see you and your babies(!) again.

…To read about our past trips: 2008 trip to Denver, 2009/2010 trips to Denver and Irvine…

When Jonathan and I were living in Shenzhen, China there were many nights it was just the two of us.  Our little studio apartment, while clean and livable, didn’t feel like home. Our “friends” there were loving and kind but spoke limited English. And, after blowing through the entire first season of 24 on DVD, we didn’t have much to watch. One night we took the bus to a bar near the harbor called, “Ex-ta-sea” where we planned to get a drink and play pool. (Do I even need to add commentary to the bar’s name? I think not.)

The bar was full of Chinese women, and about six or seven expat men who were all flirting with the young girls. Jonathan and I sauntered over to the bar where I waited to place an order. In the meantime, Jonathan went searching for the restroom. It took very little time for me to get myself in trouble.

A gentleman at the bar eyed me as soon as I sat down. He was in his fifties, graying and unattractive, wearing MC Hammer style pants in American flag pattern. He started conversation immediately. “Haven’t seen you here before… you new around here?” I answered in a friendly manner, telling him that Jonathan and I were in the country for several months. He explained he’d been living in the city for years. He loved China. The country, he explained, offered him the life of a king–a life he wouldn’t be able to afford in the states. Then, quickly, he said, “But, if there’s one thing I hate about this country it’s their women. They are idiots. Every single one of them.” I responded cooly, “Really? I haven’t found that to be the case at all. In fact, the women here are intelligent and kind.” At that point, I turned away, giving him the “I don’t want to talk to you anymore” vibe.

He faced the bartender, a young woman in her twenties. I can’t remember his exact wording, but he started yelling at her for not bringing him the right drink. I stared, my eyes wide, at the interaction. He continued to try and make conversation with me, his eyes never leaving the area just below my collar bone.

I don’t really know why I said the next words that came out of my mouth. They were probably not the smartest thing to say or the classiest, but they flew out unplanned.

“I don’t want to talk to you, and if you don’t leave me alone my husband is going to beat you up.”

Leave me alone would have probably been sufficient. Or even, “You’re a horribly rude person that also happens to be highly unattractive” would have also worked. But, my threat seemed to really do the trick. He shut up. Said nothing. Stopped staring. Looked at his drink. I won. Victory tasted so sweet until I realized my innocent husband could walk back to a brawl. Oops.

What did I do? I ran for Jonathan as soon as he got out of the restroom. And then I told him, “I think we should leave. Quickly.”

And so we did.

photo credit

It was already the third day in Paris, but I’d seen only three places: my hotel room, the internet cafe, and the classroom. The point of our trip was to learn as we traveled, but that particular week my head had been buried in more books than city maps. Two projects were looming, hundreds of dates needed memorizing, and my dad and sister were just a few hours from arriving for a visit. I remember sulking on the way to class that morning, passing by pastry shops and crepe stands as I walked through autumn’s brisk air.

My entire life I’d followed the rules. Brush your teeth twice a day. Make the bed. Don’t be late. Park in that lot. Wear a helmet. I’d never regretted my decisions to follow the rules until that morning, in a tiny classroom tucked away from Paris’ streets, learning everything important but nothing memorable.

And so I walked out. I turned in the test early, painted a “I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM NOW” look on my face, then bolted. When I got outside that classroom door, I looked back as if anticipating a professor to chase me down the narrow streets. But, no one came. I picked up a quick pace, giggling to myself as I ran towards the metro. Still, no one followed. I felt like a rebel until I made it to the Picasso Museum–my hooky destination of choice. It wasn’t a quaint flea market or the grand Eiffel Tower–but it was a quiet escape from the itinerary, the schedule, the rules.

You know what? I don’t remember what was on that test, or what grade I got. I don’t think any of my professors ever asked where I went. But, I remember that day by myself and Picasso more than many of the other days spent in Europe. Today, break the rules. Sometimes it’s the best way to play.

L-R…Jonathan, Matt, Brett, Sawyer, Sam / Sharon, Niki, Andrea, Me

A new year with old friends is: a 65 hour slumber party…Jalepeno poppers…sweet baby smiles…sweatpants…quaint Ashland streets…an uphill run that kicked my butt…rainy afternoons in the jacuzzi…movies…games…homemade apple cobbler…gobbling up my new books…sleeping in…you?