I’m baaaaccckkkk! Have you missed me? I’ve certainly missed you. After taking a needed blogging hiatus, my little fingers are moving again at Barefooton45th. It’s been a busy summer but yet I’ve  still had wonderful time to breathe, seek, think, pray, and evaluate where I’m at. I’ll share more in future posts, but for now, here’s what I was doing this summer instead of blogging:

• Soaking up time with my family in Irvine to celebrate my Grandpa’s 85th birthday and Father’s Day.
• Rafting the Klamath with these lovely people, the Melvins, Joe and Britt.
• Discovering Andrea’s homemade granola, and then making my own week after week.
• Reading Outliers (loved it!), Bel Canto (first virtual book club with Mich, Lor and Lisa- so fun!), and Looking for God (some easy takeaways I won’t forget).
• Getting to know all the friendly people at our new church, Restoration Life.
• Hanging out with the girls in my Tuesday night bible study, and reading Francis Chan’s newest book- Forgotten God- to prep for this fall’s study.
• Driving all over the region to promote Capital’s Team Tennis.
• Devouring great seafood, Hobo Stew and champagne tasting during our Russian River camping weekend—although not at the same time.
• Consuming lots of fish tacos in Baja during the Miller family vacation.
• Celebrating five years of marriage with a weekend in Mendocino.
• Making over my office with a craft project that took two months to finish. Now work feels more like home!
• Getting to know new friends, Tammy and Aaron, who we met through Jonathan’s law school buddy, Dave.
• Chomping away at the East Sac Summer Challenge (full report to come soon).
• Running, enjoying Emilia, and mixing in a bit of yoga…which has currently led to very tight and sore calf muscles. I’m getting old.
• Learning that God is slowly preparing me the next steps in our life, and while I still haven’t figured out what those look like, I know He’s going before me.
• Still to come: Watching Scott marry his bride, Lauren, this weekend! Yay!

Now, it’s your turn. What did you do this summer?

She is my friend from before I’d ever kissed a boy, or been out of the country, or thought about college, or been in a bible study. She is who I followed to Westmont, who lived down the hall, who wrote me sweet notes when my boyfriend dumped me, who shared a house overlooking the ocean. She is now a married woman, and I got watch it all happen.

L-R…Jonathan, Matt, Brett, Sawyer, Sam / Sharon, Niki, Andrea, Me

A new year with old friends is: a 65 hour slumber party…Jalepeno poppers…sweet baby smiles…sweatpants…quaint Ashland streets…an uphill run that kicked my butt…rainy afternoons in the jacuzzi…movies…games…homemade apple cobbler…gobbling up my new books…sleeping in…you?

They could have called Super Shuttle this morning. When the alarm sounded at 4:30am, after a night of restless sleep, I really wished they had called Super Shuttle. Out into the brisk air I went, my teeth unbrushed and my hair in a tangle. I drove the dark one mile to their house. It was earlier than I usually got out the door, but in the dark it seemed like any other morning. The one mile stretch is the same road I travel every morning when I meet her for our early run.

Tonight, they are miles and miles away, but I am sitting on their couch, writing on their computer, watching their TV, using their washing machine, and eating their Rocky Road ice cream. I didn’t ask. I’m sure they won’t mind at all–although raiding the ice cream might be pushing it a little bit. In their house I know exactly where the blankets are kept, and exactly where she hides the paper plates, which I happily used to avoid washing dishes. Their home is the one I imagined myself coming to when we moved here several years ago; the house I thought might become a second home on nights when Jonathan was studying late or I just felt lonely. It has indeed become that place.

I could have gone to a laundromat tonight , but didn’t. And they could have called Super Shuttle, and didn’t. It’s why we’re friends.

photo credit to : Robert Crum

Proof: I’ve finally met Kenley Ryan and Brady Jim. A quick jaunt to Colorado for the weekend proved that my friends make very cute,and really well behaved babies, a testament to their amazing moms.

I also lost in Wii Ski Jump to Jenny, who is pregnant. I think its something with her Alaskan heritage pulling through. I bet her little guy will come out of the womb with skis on.

Thank you my friends for a great weekend.

For your viewing pleasure: Beall, Lisa and I before attending an Ugly Sweater Party in 2004. Lisa, thank you for sending this picture to me today, all the way from South Africa. Such a friend you are.

In these times there are certain habits Jonathan and I cling to that make us feel safe. We bundle up to take long walks around our neighborhood’s dark sleep streets where we talk out our future until we’re too cold to be worried.

In my quiet moments where I can let my mind really wander and worry, I subconsciously ask, “What, or who, can we trust?” I’ll be honest. My first thought isn’t the Father, Son, or Holy Spirit. Oh sure, I know that’s what I’m supposed to say. But it’s so much easier to put our trust in the tangible. Here we have a community that has stood by us, and will continue to. We’ve joked that if all of us lose our jobs we’ll just move into Sam and Sharon’s house until we kill each other. I don’t think most of us really think that would happen, but in our moments of deepest insecurity, I know we could make it work if we had to.

Other days, we begin to put our trust in the plans we make, and undo, and re-do. (Europe? Hmmm…maybe in few summers. Buying a house? Nah. Purchasing a car that was made after the year 2000… no way.) We’re staying put. Working hard. Holding our breaths.

Sometimes I even put my trust into patterns of history. I tell my husband and our friends without jobs– “You guys are smart, hard working, creative people. The economy always turns around. Someday we’ll look back on this time and tell our children about 2009 when we all barely made it by.”

But these things, these people, these plans are all temporarily. They are not 100%. They are not a foundation. They are like building a house on sand that can so easily wash away.

I’m trying to learn how to trust God. Period. I don’t have it figured out yet. It’s easier to just work harder, and attempt to save, and make the back-up plans to live with Sam and Sharon. All these actions are probably very responsible and wise. But if the foundation is sand, they won’t be good enough.

So, I continue to ask, “Lord, how do I really trust you alone?” I’ll let you know when I’ve got it figured out. Don’t expect to hear back from on that one anytime soon.