Best friends, in all shapes and places

by Lesley on March 11, 2013 · 6 comments

in friends


It’s almost time for my annual college girlfriends trip (yay!) which means I’m currently barreling through the book we’re reading together: MWF Seeking BFF: My Yearlong Search for a New Best Friend

In past years we’ve almost always picked a Christian non-fiction book which leads to lots of interesting theological discussions around the breakfast table or swimming pool. This year we decided to go for a “lighter” option and discuss friendship. Because does anything make more sense on a friendship retreat? I think not.

Essentially the book is about a girl in her late 20s who, after moving to a new city and getting married, realizes she needs a best friend.

I can understand the author’s plight. In the years following college I thought I’d never, EVER, have girlfriends as wonderful as those I made at Westmont. And really, what we have is very special-proven by the fact that we continue to spend an annual long weekend together to giggle and gab.


Over time I’ve made some new and wonderful best friends since college.

My new best friends don’t replace my old friendships, but I think of them like younger siblings to a firstborn child. (I’m not a parent of two quite yet, but everyone says we’ll love our children equally, and I believe it.)

While my college friends and I have gotten really good at long distance communication, we wouldn’t have survived Anna’s arrival or Jonathan’s cancer without our physically present community of cheerleaders, prayers, meal deliverers, and sit-on-the-couch and cry while eating ice cream kind of friends.

With my local friends, I can SEE when they’re exhausted and need someone to cheer them up. I can FEEL their arms wrap around me when I so desperately need a hug. And, most fun of all, I can WITNESS they ways they love on their children and husband in ways I try to emulate. (Sharon’s habit of singing the ABCs to Eden while they wash hands has, well, revolutionized our toddler hand washing process around here!) I NEED my Sacramento girlfriends, and I’m incredibly grateful for them.

Forming solid friendships after college, and after 30, is difficult. Just read MWF Seeking BFF or this New York Times article to understand why. But, have no fear, it’s possible.

So, here’s where things are going to get kinda wacky and maybe not make sense…

I have a third set of friends who don’t necessarily fall into the best friend category but enrich my life in a different way: my internet friends.

You’re intrigued, right? Come back later this week for a full scoop on how I’ve made incredible friends thanks to Twitter and blogging. Plus I’ll introduce you to a few people you should get to know too.

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Aagh! Now you've got Michael W. Smith running through my head: "Friends are friends forever, if the Lord's the Lord of them ..." Earworm! On the other hand, your stories about your friends show what a blessing they are in your life and that you are in theirs. That makes the earworm worthwhile, Lesley. Cheers, Tim


so true! (all of it) and I can't wait to read more this week!


I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE that you have a group of college friends that you still get together with every year... this didn't happen for me at all (but then again, college life is VERY different here in the US from college life in Germany, maybe that explains it). I still have friendships going back to elementary school and even kindergarten, but they're all far away and making friendships after college and in a new place is very hard. I read Rachel's book and while I enjoyed it tremendously, I found the "work" she had to put in to find new friends (and fail a few times on the way) incredibly exhausting (just to read!). Here's to friendships. Looking forward to reading more this week.


  1. Seeking Blog says:

    Mwf Seeking Bff My Yearlong Search

    […] ‘t happen for me at all (but then again, college life is VERY different here in […]