When a personal relationship is causing you stress, be aware of your feelings and communicate them instead of building a case against the other person. For example, you don’t need to list the seven things the person did that you didn’t like, including the time he yelled at the flight attendant, yawned while you were speaking, or fell asleep while you were driving. If you run off a list of errors you believe someone has made, you will appear judgmental and put him on the defensive. You will also get into a detailed discussion of each individual event rather than addressing your feelings as a whole. It’s more productive to speak to your emotions through statements like “I feel like you aren’t enjoying my company,” rather than the “case” you have built against the object of your frustration. It’s also a way to keep yourself honest.
-Jaime Morrison Curtis, from the book Prudent Advice
