Beauty in the Waiting

by Lesley on November 16, 2011 · 9 comments

in cancer

Two years ago, we were waiting on Bar results. We thought it was the worst kind of waiting.

A year ago, we were just days away from learning she existed. Days away from a positive pregnancy test. Days away from scheduling doctor’s appointments and wondering her gender, and worrying she’d disappearĀ before we could meet her.

A year ago, we were just days away from heading into escrow on our house. Days away from paper signing, remodeling research, home inspections. Days away from giving notice on our cozy little apartment, and beginning the boxing process.

And now, a year later, we are just days away from a different kind of unknown. These days, a baby sleeps in the bedroom we didn’t own last November. And these days we are waiting on a test that’s isn’t pass/fail. It’s a test that doesn’t signify an end (like the Bar) or a beginning (like a baby!) This test is life or death. It will tell us how hard he has to fight.

A year ago, I passed a little house on 59th Street with a bucket of persimmons for sale in the front yard. I bought eight and never figured out how to cook them. Last week, the same house was selling persimmons again. Same tree; a new season. This year I am letting those persimmons ripen a bit longer than I did in the past. I will give them the time they need. I am determined to turn them into something beautiful.

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