What she won’t remember

by Lesley on August 15, 2011 · 14 comments

in Anna

She won’t remember the sunny day we brought her home, or the moment when I turned to Jonathan before we were even on the freeway and said, “I can see why people have more than one.”

She won’t remember my grandpa looking at her and saying, “She pulls on my ¬†strings…” or her daddy rocking her and whispering, “You’re just the prettiest thing in the whole world.”

She won’t remember the first time we walked her through Tahoe Park, Jonathan pushing the stroller and me hobbling along trying to keep up. There was a light breeze and the sun was low. A group of people were doing yoga together, and softball cheers rose up into the air as the ice cream truck rattled by playing Pop Goes the Weasel. I had never been happier.

She won’t remember the time she first made me cry tears of frustration after she’d been fussy on and off all day long. I changed her diaper as she cried and I cried.

She won’t remember us wine tasting on our sixth wedding anniversary because she slept through the whole experience. She won’t remember wrecking havoc when we get home later that afternoon, crying in pain over a gassy belly. I’m glad she won’t remember me leaving her for a pedicure as Dad took over.

She won’t remember the first time she really studied my face with her big eyes. It felt like we played a long staring match that she was determined not to lose.

Thankfully, she won’t remember the two times I’ve driven with her not buckled into her seat belt. Oops.

She wont remember the early mornings we spent cuddled on the couch- the sun barely visible, and the flicker of the TV keeping me awake just enough to feed her.

She probably won’t remember that every time I put her to sleep I kiss her forehead, stroke her head, and whisper, “Good night sweet Anna” even when it’s not nighttime.

There’s a lot she won’t remember, and a lot I won’t either. New moments will come, and these will fade away only to become beautiful memories. If they are here, I hopefully won’t forget.

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10 comments
kelsey
kelsey

this is really beautiful! i found your blog today on Writing Chapter Three and got lost in your Best Of posts. my baby girl is 4 months today, so i can really relate to your mother's heart!

elise
elise

Lesley, this is striking. I'm only 22 and so far from being a mom, but this article and this article alone inspired me to rework some "social time" to some "writing time" -so precious & so valuable. Thank you. P.S. I hope you don't mind that I had to pin it for the sake of my virtual memory... (:

Phil Tretheway
Phil Tretheway

adorable! wish i had written a list like this with our first one

sara
sara

rejoicing with you! anna is beyond precious. oh. my. goodness. an absolute gift. so thrilled for you and j.

Stacey
Stacey

Very sweet! What wonderful memories you're storing away to share with Anna when she's older. =]

Christin Taylor
Christin Taylor

Congratulations, Lesley!! Beautiful writing, beautiful reflections, beautiful momma a daughter! :-) Here's to the joy of writing about our kids!

Grandma
Grandma

So precious! Made me cry. How I wished I had documented more of those precious moments with my sweet babies. I thought I'd remember but I don't. Your writing is so beautiful - what a gift!

Ronda
Ronda

Such sweet memories you have documented. One thing that struck me is the staring contest you reference. When my son was just a newborn, we would lay next to each other and stare. He would be all swaddled up like a burrito with just his little eyes looking around the room and then always back to me. Such a beautiful thing.

christi
christi

so sweet! cherish each moment as they quickly pass but a new moment is waiting to be remembered as well!

PC
PC

My goodness! I am so glad I have begun reading your posts. This is so beautiful and it does my Father's heart so good. I keep thinking of all the these same things as our daughter will celebrate (but not likely remember) her first birthday in a couple weeks. My daddy-daughter walks through Tahoe Park are some of my favorite moments. Mondays are my day off, so those are my days with Bryleigh. We walk to Cafe Lumiere so I can get a coffee, and then we continue our way around Tahoe Park before returning home. Thank you again for this post.

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