Things I’ve failed at in my lifetime

by Lesley on August 7, 2008 · 5 comments

in sports,writing

My friend Anna is famous for her clutsy moves and embarrasing moments such as falling off a treadmill. I take extra joy in reading her stories because they give me hope that perhaps someone out there has worse luck than I do in the field of athletics.

Anna is really good at sharing her defeats. But today she had a fabulously fun victory– getting her first article published. In her honor, I thought it may be time for me to share some of my own worst moments. Keeps you human, you know?

Lesley’s Top 5 Lifetime Failures So Far:

1. Junior lifeguards: A summer spent in Laguna Beach running and swimming? I’d pay good money for that now. But at 13, I found junior lifeguards to be the most frightening experience I’d ever had. Besides soccer. And softball. And sailing lessons. I was always the slowest, I got yelled at the entire afternoon, and I practically popped a lung because I was so out of shape. I lasted three weeks and cried on the way to the beach everyday.

2. Tennis lessons: I broke my elbow on the first day. While doing sprints. Because I tripped. I never went back and don’t have anything more to say about it. I still hate tennis.

3. Soccer/Basketball: Somehow the Fireballs soccer team got stacked with all the best players in the AYSO league and picking dandelions just didn’t cut it for Coach Fred. He screamed at me like I didn’t have ears (which is funny, considering my ears stuck out like dumbo at the time). I lived for the juice boxes and fruit snacks at the end of each game. Most of the other girls went on to play All-Stars but I was satisfied with retirement by 10 years old.

4. Art history class: Before I was smart enough to ask upperclassmen for advice on which classes to take, I signed up for Lisa DeBoer’s Art History class. It was directly before lunch each day in a dark room. We watched slides. She lectured. And then she brutally murdered me on every test. It’s taking some courage to admit this next fact publicly: I didn’t pass her class. Horror of horrors! I was okay with being nonathletic. But dumb? I couldn’t handle it. I retook her class my senior year on Europe Semester and actually enjoyed it the second time around. And I got an A. Booyah.

5. Math: I needed a tutor to get me through every math class in high school. I got mostly Cs. I never took a math class at Westmont and never plan to take math every again in my life. I barely know how to do fractions and have trouble calculating the tip at a restaurant. Don’t judge me.
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3 comments
*corinne
*corinne

*it's not funny that you broke your elbow but your tennis bitterness is humorous and understandable. *also funny: soccer retirement at 10. *in general, i'm totally impressed with your honesty. i hate hate hate failing, and would have a hard time with putting up a similar post. maybe i will someday. *also, art history is way more interesting when you've just literally stood in the sistine chapel. Lisa was tough, and i wouldn't have wanted to take her class the way you had to first.

Aly sun
Aly sun

You married my first cousin once removed and we have never met, yet we have so much in common. I really enjoyed your list because it could have been right out of my life. It was so wonderful to hear someone else retired from sports in grade school. I am greatly encouraged.

SportsFan's Daughter
SportsFan's Daughter

Sweet Lesley. Sweet, dumb, and unathletic Lesley. How we love you (because your parents pay us to).Jokes, jokes. Glad that my debacles are providing you with blog fodder. And thanks for the mad props.