Grace and Chocolate Cake

by Lesley on September 3, 2010

in christianity,lessons learned

The restaurant was one of the best in Mendocino, and Jonathan had made reservations weeks before our anniversary.  But when we arrived for our 8:00pm seating, things weren’t exactly as I’d pictured they would be. To start, an impatient crowd was gathered around the door. The tiny old house, now transformed to a restaurant, wasn’t large enough to accommodate everyone. We all squished into the lobby, tight and quiet, doing our best to be patient. It was in these waiting moments that Jonathan, trying to get me to laugh, pointed out a lady wearing a wolf sweater. The fashionista herself was talking quickly and loudly.

Forty-five minutes we were seated with a short and hurried apology.  With five courses to go, and plenty to talk about, we weren’t upset. One couple, however, was so  disappointed with the slow service they left before their bottle of wine could arrive.

The food was rich and flavorful, just as Yelp said it would be, but each course was delivered with a frazzled smile. We quickly realized our waiter was also the owner and his wife, the chef.  When she personally delivered an appetizer to our table, we asked how she was doing.

“Uhhhh….well….hmmmm,” she seemed to search for words, and then drew in a long breath. “It’s been, an, um, long week,” she said.

I was surprised by her honest response. Most people, especially those trained well in customer service, would plaster on a big smile and lie. I sensed she wanted to lie and couldn’t. Her authenticity was both refreshing and frustrating. We wanted an exceptional dining experience, but this place wasn’t as polished and professional as we expected.

We kept eating and talking, drinking, and laughing. Soon the restaurant began to clear out until only the wolf lady’s party remained. We debated whether to order dessert, and agreed it was only appropriate. We could handle waiting for chocolate cake. The food had been amazing, and surely dessert would also be.

“I’d like to talk to the chef,” the wolf lady said loudly. “Please, bring out the chef!”

It was 11:00pm. Our plates had just been cleared and the music turned off. We couldn’t help but watch the interaction out of the corner of our eyes. The chef appeared. I braced myself for the worse.

What happened next surprised me-no-shocked me.  I don’t know if I’ll ever forget the scene.

“Oh! There she is!” cried the woman. “Compliments to the chef! Sit down, sit down. You’ve earned it.”

The exhausted looking chef did sit down, as if in the company of old friends. We could only see her back, but it was obvious she felt defeated and embarrassed. If she spoke, we couldn’t hear her. But, we didn’t need to speak. The lady in the sweater was one of those types who could carry on a conversation by herself.

“Now, we know you’ve had a long week.  Your husband told us.  My, my… moving the entire restaurant in just three days, and expanding too! That is so much work. It just looks lovely though. Doesn’t it? Doesn’t it look lovely?” She asked the others at the table to agree with her, but she moved on before they could speak. “And the food- OH- the food! It was exceptional, just exceptional. We will happily be back, and we’ll tell our friends to come here too. Now, don’t feel bad. Please, don’t feel bad. It’s hard to run a small business on your own. But, you’ve done a wonderful job. You should be proud of your restaurant. We had such a good time.”

I found myself staring, unable to turn away from this moment of grace tumbling off one woman’s lips, and lifting another woman’s tired soul.  I found myself wanting to emulate this lady—this very loud and very underdressed lady—who continue to praise the fine work of a defeated French chef. Not once did she mention the slow service. Not once did she mention the long wait. She focused on the positive, even when it wasn’t 100 percent deserved.

Jonathan and I walked to the door to be handed our doggy bag—a huge slice of chocolate cake that we’d later determine to be one of the better pieces of chocolate cake ever consumed.

“Thank you, so much sir, for a wonderful meal,” I said. “We will be back. And we’ll tell our friends too.”

He looked at us with grateful eyes, and quickly recounted the long week they’d had. And then, he walked us to the door so we could drive home along the coast, full of food and thankful for grace.

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Show and Tell: Summer

by Lesley on September 1, 2010

in books,friends,sacramento

I’m baaaaccckkkk! Have you missed me? I’ve certainly missed you. After taking a needed blogging hiatus, my little fingers are moving again at Barefooton45th. It’s been a busy summer but yet I’ve  still had wonderful time to breathe, seek, think, pray, and evaluate where I’m at. I’ll share more in future posts, but for now, here’s what I was doing this summer instead of blogging:

  • Soaking up time with my family in Irvine to celebrate my Grandpa’s 85th birthday and Father’s Day.
  • Rafting the Klamath with these lovely people, the Melvins, Joe and Britt.
  • Discovering Andrea’s homemade granola, and then making my own week after week.
  • Reading Outliers (loved it!), Bel Canto (first virtual book club with Mich, Lor and Lisa- so fun!), and Looking for God (some easy takeaways I won’t forget).
  • Getting to know all the friendly people at our new church, Restoration Life.
  • Hanging out with the girls in my Tuesday night bible study, and reading Francis Chan’s newest book- Forgotten God- to prep for this fall’s study.
  • Driving all over the region to promote Capital’s Team Tennis.
  • Devouring great seafood, Hobo Stew and champagne tasting during our Russian River camping weekend—although not at the same time.
  • Consuming lots of fish tacos in Baja during the Miller family vacation.
  • Celebrating five years of marriage with a weekend in Mendocino.
  • Making over my office with a craft project that took two months to finish. Now work feels more like home!
  • Getting to know new friends, Tammy and Aaron, who we met through Jonathan’s law school buddy, Dave.
  • Chomping away at the East Sac Summer Challenge (full report to come soon).
  • Running, enjoying Emilia, and mixing in a bit of yoga…which has currently led to very tight and sore calf muscles. I’m getting old. :(
  • Learning that God is slowly preparing me the next steps in our life, and while I still haven’t figured out what those look like, I know He’s going before me.
  • Still to come: Watching Scott marry his bride, Lauren, this weekend! Yay!

Now, it’s your turn. What did you do this summer?

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Getting back to her

by Lesley on June 30, 2010

in writing

Get caught in the race
Of this crazy life
Trying to be everything can make you lose your mind
I just wanna go back in time
To American honey, yea

There’s a wild, wild whisper
Blowing in the wind
Calling out my name like a long lost friend
Oh I miss those days as the years go by
Oh nothing’s sweeter than summer time
And American honey

Gone for so long now
I gotta get back to her somehow
To American honey

(Lyrics to American Honey by Lady Antebellum)

Lately, there’s been a wild whisper calling out my name and I’m not sure what to do with it. This whisper is still very soft, but it’s there, and it’s wild. I try to listen to what the whisper is saying, but I’m distracted by my own voice.

I watched a web clip tonight recommended by Michele. It’s funny because before I was watching the clip I’d had a mini-meltdown. All I had wanted to do after work was squeeze in a quick visit to the gym before my week pass expires. I didn’t even want to exercise. I wanted to zone out in the steam room in an attempt to curb my adult acne and soothe my muscles which are hurting more than usual these days. By the time I left work at 7:20, I’d lost all enthusiasm to strip down in a locker room with a bunch of strangers. (Really- does enthusiasm ever exist to strip down with strangers? Probably not.)

I got home and went straight from work mode to home mode, which could be described in one hyphenated word: multi-tasking. As I defrosted dinner and made tomorrow’s lunch, all I could think about was what I wanted to get accomplished, and the tasks I wasn’t going to get to because it was late. I needed a a distraction from my inner turmoil of voices. And so, I watched the clip as I cooked. It’s a TED talk by brain scientist Jill Bolte Taylor. In it, she compares the two sides of the brain. Here’s a paraphrase of what she says about the human brain:

“Our right human hemisphere is all about this present moment. It’s all about right here, and right now….what this present moment looks like, feels like, sounds like. Our left hemisphere thinks linearly and methodically. It’s all about the past and all about the future. Our left is designed to pick out details and details and more details about those details. It’s that little voice that says to me, “Hey you gotta remember to pick up bananas on your way home.”

Somedays, it feels like all I think about is how and when I’m going to pick up the bananas. I make lists so I don’t forget the bananas. If I do forget them, I worry about it.

Lately, I’ve put my blog on a grocery list right under the bananas. Over the last few months, this blog has been somewhat neglected. Ideas don’t come to me as easily, and the words don’t fly off my fingers quickly. I still love to write, but in this space I’ve felt cramped. I want to go back to American Honey; to the long lazy days in our rented RV when I wrote childish romance stories on pads of lined paper. I wrote without holding back; I wrote just for the sake of creating.

So I’ve made what feels like a big decision: I’m taking a self imposed blog sabbatical for the summer.

I actually got the idea after I read my friend Kristin’s blog. Kristin blogs regularly, and she just finished her first book which comes out next month. In one of her recent posts she quotes our college professor, Dr. Spencer. “If you live by technology, you will die by technology.” Over the last few months, I’ve felt like I’m dying by technology.

It’s time for me to pull out an old fashioned notebook and pen, and get to work. You see, I’ve also realized that for a long time, I’ve wanted to write a book. There are always things that have held me back; lack of time, lack of a good idea; lack of self-confidence; worry that I won’t be as successful as others, that I can’t make money writing, that I’ll fail.

Kelly also recently shared a great web clip. It’s a Tim Keller video that talks about Creation and Creativity. (It’s only five minutes. Watch it here.) I’ll leave you for the few months with Tim’s encouragement:

“…Create not because you have to, but because you want to. Because you know you’re made  in the image of God, because creating order out of chaos, and something out of nothing, is a good thing in itself.”

See you in September.

p.s. picture is my grandma, Lorraine, who I call Amie. Isn’t it a beautiful picture? To me, it says, “American Honey.”

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Returning to the podium

by Lesley on June 17, 2010

in growing up,lessons learned

Commencement

She’s always reminded me of my teenage self. And on Wednesday, the resemblance was even more striking. On a similar June afternoon ten years ago, I, also a Warrior, stood dressed in a red gown. This time, I sat in the stadium seats between hundreds of proud parents holding leis.

When Maddy walked in, I spotted her easily. She’s taller than most of the other girls, and some of the boys too. How I know that feeling. Her long blond hair was down, and her cap on tight. She scanned the crowd looking for mom and dad. We all waved when she looked up.

When they welcomed her to the stage, their valedictorian, my own speech came rushing back. Unlike Maddy, I hadn’t received the highest honors. But, similar to her, I’d also stood on that podium.  We both felt the weight of this moment perhaps more so than other high school students who speak to their peers on graduation day. This speech couldn’t be confused with the lyrics of a Vitamin C graduation song. No, this speech had to be better than average. It had to offer new perspective, depth, and meaning. It couldn’t be about us.

She delivered her speech beautifully, touching on her time spent in Fresno on a missions trip. She spoke about joy and community. She spoke about tough stuff. She spoke about hope. And, she made me laugh, as any good speechwriter will do.

When she finished, she sat back down into a sea of students who would soon become distant memories. They would march out of that stadium together just an hour later, into their own lives. Some of them will go on to do great things. Some will fail miserably. They will all realize that high school, while formative and fun at times, is not the real world. The real world, they will discover, is not about us. No matter how “successful” we become this world is not about the clothes we wear, the cars we drive, the promotions we seek, the accolades we achieve. As Nicole Nordeman sings, our life should be about: “Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough to leave a mark on things? I want to leave an offering…a child of mercy and grace who blessed your name unapologetically and leave that kind of legacy.”

It’s not very often we get the chance to stand at a podium, and speak mercy and grace. But each day, we have opportunities to love big, and offer God praise for these great lives He has given us. I am so proud of Maddy for taking her moment at the podium. And I am reminded, to keep going back to the podium myself.

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Soccer for a Cause

by Lesley on June 1, 2010

in china,sports

world-cup

As a kid, soccer wasn’t really my thing. (See previous post about my issues with competition.) I played on a very competitive AYSO team in third grade, called The Fireballs. The coach, Fred, said things to all the other little girls like, “tremendous job” but he rarely said, “tremendous job, Lesley.” That’s because I was usually picking dandelions in the out field, or wincing away from the ball as if it might hurt me.  (“Tremendous job” is in quotation marks because I still remember Fred using that exact phrase. My dad teases me about it to this day.)

Anyhoo, back to the point of this post: soccer. While soccer wasn’t a highlight of my younger years, my brother was quite good at the sport. It always worked out that way. He was actually good at swimming, and volleyball, and basketball too. I think I got robbed of all the athletic genes in our family. My family traveled around for several years as we watched Scott play soccer at competitive tournaments across the state. Whenever a game got interesting, I’d lift my head up from a Babysitters Club book so that I could catch a moment or two. To this day, there are few team sports I enjoy watching, but soccer is one of them. I can thank my brother for that.

During the 2006 World Cup, Jonathan and I were traveling all in China. Many times, at the end of a busy day, we’d find ourselves alone. There were few English channels on TV and by the third month we were almost out of things to talk about. So, we began wandering the streets each night in search of games. In Hong Kong, we braved a rowdy Irish pub for a game. In Beijing, we enjoyed the beer gardens and big screens on almost every street. Other nights we fell asleep to the sounds of GOOOOOOAAAAALLLLL from the TV. What I loved most about watching the World Cup in China was how it brought together a diverse group of people around a common interest. I’ll admit, when I see this commercial (and trust me, I see it almost nightly because ESPN is mysteriously ALWAYS ON at my house) my heart starts racing a little bit faster. One time, I even got  teary eyed.

Are you pumped? You are, aren’t you?

If you’re just a tiny bit interested in the World Cup, then I have an idea. Consider joining These Numbers Have Faces for a huge World Cup Bracket that benefits a good cause. It’s only $10 to enter and you’ll be supporting young adults in South Africa–the country hosting this year’s tournament.  Jonathan and I already picked our teams. Are you in? Get more info here.

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